Not gonna lie, the holidays can be tough and full of stress. And no amount of planning is going to magically make that go away. I’m not trying to tell you that a checklist will solve family drama, vanish money worries, or overcome grief or other mental anguish. As always, you should seek professionals for those issues.
But Good News! Beating the holiday stress is possible. There is still plenty of things you CAN do starting NOW to make things easier on yourself later. And I’m going to share with you 3 of my top strategies for navigating the season while lowering your stress. I also have an invitation for you at the end of the post.
These strategies are not magic. They will, however give you solid foundation on which to tackle you biggest stressors, gather support, and plan a better way to enjoy you holidays. With these tips in you hip pocket you can approach Halloween, Diwali, Thanksgiving, Veterans Day, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Years and any other holiday with confidence and not stress.
Why are the holidays so much more stressful?
There’s no doubt about it, this time of year comes with more than its fair share of stressors.
First there is the commercial pressure to spend money you don’t have. Then there are the conflicting family expectations and the pressure to appear merry when maybe your not.
For some the holidays hold past pain or the fresh remembrance of those no longer with us. For others there’s the pressure to keep a perfectly decorated, clean, and organized home while being the perfect chef, host, and entertainer as well..
And when you’ve dealt with all that you still have to find the perfect gifts, spend quality time, and make meaningful memories with your loved ones.
That a lot of potential stressors to rain on your holiday joy. If you can let that roll off your shoulders like rain on a duck then you probably don’t need this article. For the rest of us, don’t let this keep you down and keep reading for more on how to beat the stress.
Go from holiday stressed to holiday prepared
The key is balance and planning. No one wants to have a dirty kitchen to deal with when its time to be cooking turkey dinner. And I certainly don’t want you to waste all your time cleaning only to miss out on the traditions and events that make the season so special.
But with so many things to get done, you might wonder where even to start and how to fit it all in. My not-so-secret sauce strategies for going from stressed to prepared starts with dedicating just a little bit of time. Block off a few hours around 3, 2 or even just 1 month ahead of your target holiday and design a plan that incorporates the following 3 strategies.
With these, you’ll be well on your way to leaving the stress behind.
Write It down
My number one strategy for reducing stress this holiday season is to write everything down. Write all the lists, the plans, the to dos, the holiday dinner menus. You name it, get the pen out and record it. Yes, it can be a little burdensome on occasion but you’ll thank me later.
Don’t try to rely on your memory and wing it. A stressed brain is a forgetful brain. There is lots of science behind this but trust a mom. One who has been there at 3 am before the big day, trying to remember where she stashed the stocking stuffers and which color coded wrapping went to who. Write. It. Down.
And despite what the $200 billion dollar global stationary industry will have you believe, it doesn’t really matter what you write on. It can be on sticky notes, or a fancy planner system. You can use a blank journal or one of those hotel room notepads that follow you home hotels (does everyone do this or is it just me). Doesn’t matter, as long as its something you will use and kept somewhere you can find it.
I do like to encourage the use of a planner of some sort so you have a calendar, some daily or weekly planning space, and plenty of blank note pages. Try to pick something that suits your style. You are much more likely to use it if you like looking at it. Find something beautiful to look at to dress up its surroundings, something quirky to make you smile, something with a good quote to inspire you, you get the idea.
Once you’ve picked out your choice of paper and some pens, you are ready to tackle the next strategy.
Break big into small
I’ve posted before about breaking down big goals. Check it out if you want more tips on how to go from a big goal to manageable tasks.
When it comes to the holidays, pick one or the whole season in general, and there are so many different moving parts that its too big to tackle without stress. That is, until you break it down. If your goal is a holiday with less stress, you need breaking it down into smaller, more manageable parts.
Pick just one objective, like having you home ready for visiting family. Add milestones, like when are they visiting, to make it time-bound. Add specifics, like removing the clutter from the guest room and deep cleaning and decorating the family spaces they’ll use for their visit.
From that you can pull several things to focus on. To welcome my visitors without stressing, by December 15th I need to:
- Get the guest room ready
- Spruce up the entry hallway
- Deep clean the living room
Sure, there may be other regular cleaning to be done on top of that. However, these are the three things I know need to focus on that are unusual or take more effort than normal.
Under each focus you will add specific tasks that will be needed to completed. Like dealing with the guest bedroom clutter and putting out fresh linens and towels. And steam cleaning the hallway rug, hanging wreaths from the banisters and adding fresh greenery to the entry table. Also vacuum behind the furniture, steaming the drapes and cleaning under the couch cushions.
Use this technique to break down what needs to be done for each major objective. Repeat as needed. You’re left with a list of what needs to be done and by when. With this you can start dividing and scheduling your tasks, confident that you know what it will take to reach your end objective.
Obviously, if you have more time, you can get more done. But even with only a few weeks, or even days, left before the holiday, you will benefit immensely from taking the time to break it down and knowing what needs doing. And as GI Joe taught me growing up, “knowing is half the battle.”
With this knowledge you are now prepared to face the holiday. You can easily assess what will be the most beneficial tasks to do in whatever time you have. Focus on your priorities and what you are able to do yourself. Then you are ready to ask for help.
Gather your squad
You’ve got a substantial challenge in front of you. You could go it alone, muscle through, and rely on you , yourself, and your only. But we’re trying to make things less stressful, right?
So once you know what you need to do, its time to bring in the team, the squad, the cavalry…pick your metaphor. And while I hope you are surrounded by an abundance of friends and family, don’t worry if you don’t have many folks you can lean on. As you’ll see below, your squad can be in person, remote, virtual, crowd sourced, or even fictional. Stick with me while I explain.
It takes a village and there are lots of types of help you could look to. For this strategy there are 3 general types of support you’ll want to gather:
- The Helpers
- The Guides
- The Cheerleaders
The Helpers
Like the name suggests, these are going to be the people who help you achieve progress toward your goal. The people you ask to carry some of your load. The ones who contribute directly to checking stuff off your to do list.
These can be family members you recruit to help you the chores and decorating. It might be a friend who comes over for a baking party. It can even be the gift wrapper at the mall or the maid service you hire in to deep clean the carpets.
How many helpers you need depends on how big your to do list is. It also varies by how much you can and want to delegate or pay for. If you can afford it, many tasks can be outsourced, but don’t overlook trading favors with your network. Many hands make light work so the more help you can get the better.
And see if you can find ways to combine the things you have to do with something you want to do. Invite someone over to bake and you have time to visit and both walk away with cookies. Integrating fun can make it more than just an obligation for all involved.
The Guides
These are going to be your north stars. The people who inspire you and who you aspire to emulate. The ones who you turn to to remind you of why you are putting in the work now to reduce your stress later. Those who’s words offer comfort and encouragement even when things get hard.
Do you have friends or family who guide you when you struggle? What about Internet personalities or famous role models? Can you work with a mentor or a coach? There’s always characters from a favorite movie or book to look too as well. Anyone you can look to for inspiration or advice is fair game.
It can be one person or several, or different ones for different objectives. Whoever you choose, be careful not to compare yourself against them in a negative way but look to their good qualities when you need boost.
The Cheerleaders
These are the folks who applaud your efforts, big or small. Cheer your progress. Offer you encouragement. Celebrate successes and commiserate over setbacks. They can offer both support and accountability to help you stay the course.
These can be recruited from anywhere. Good friends, spouses, or co-workers are common choices. Acquaintances or even strangers on social media, message boards, and support groups are suitable choices as well.
If you thrive on social feedback, you can try just posting your intentions to your feed or dropping a tweet. If you like more privacy, share things in a one on one setting.
The very act of sharing makes you feel more accountable and the people you tell will likely want to hear how its going. And knowing that someone has an expectation of hearing progress will make you more likely to prioritize things that help you show movement toward our goal.
Now that you have your plan, write down the things you need to do, and have your squad to help you I hope you’ll find that you are better prepared to manage the stress.
If you need more help, support, and accountability or just want prepare along with others I wanted to invite you to join the BWP Holiday Preparation Countdown.
Join our Holiday Preparation Countdown
From October 31 to December 25, 2022 Better With a Plan is hosting the 8 week Plan More, Stress Less Holiday Preparation Countdown. Our countdown will feature free content her on the blog and on Instagram focused on planning for the holidays. For the next 8 weeks I’ll be here to support you as you work through your plans, offering more tips and advice to get ready and beat the stress.
If you want to get even more support, you can become a Ko-fi subscriber and get your hands on our new workbook—a printable structured planning resource to guide you through the holiday hustle and bustle.
With weekly downloads for my Ko-fi subscribers and new blog content for all, I hope you will consider taking part. Together we can plan more and stress less to make this a better holiday season.
Photo credits: cottonbro on Pexels.com
